Monday, December 27, 2010

The Truth (part two)

You can read the first part of this story here.

  So after a laparoscopy, I began to feel like a human being again.  The doctor did find some scar tissue and some endometriosis, and he removed it all.  After a few days, I began to feel alive again.  I began to feel like I could be a mom and play with my son without being in pain.  I felt like a participant in my marriage and like I could live and not just get through the day.
  I didn't tell Austin's birth story to the whole world so that I could garner support.  But the truth is that just because I call Jesus my Lord does not mean that life comes without trials.  I wanted nothing more than to have a few kids and be a mom.  But my body isn't so fond of the whole giving birth thing.  Does it mean that I'm not a good enough Christian or that I'm not thankful enough to the Lord.  I heard several comments from other Christians when I was enduring my difficult pregnancy "Oh, I loved being pregnant, I was so thankful to the Lord for my baby that all those little symptoms didn't bother me."  Okay, honestly folks... who in the world would want to revel in the fact that puking was a regular part of your day?  Really, do you think that I wanted to be that miserable?  Well, no, I didn't.  It was no fun.  I still have heartburn issues due to my little fella.  But you know what?  I am thankful that God allowed me to have my son.  I can't imagine my life without him.  What I went through was terrible, but I love my son and I am thankful for him.  No level of thankfulness to the Lord will help you avoid trials and tribulations.  God has a plan in it all, even if it's bad.
    Call it Christianese.  My husband and I often refer to them as Used Car Salesmen.  You can call it whatever you want.  But there are some REALLY fake people that grace the doors of churches every Sunday.  Why these folks never have any problems.  Why?  Well that's because they call the good Lord just that, Lord.  Why since they were saved they've never had problems.  The bills have always been paid with ease, nothing in the house has broken when they don't have the funds to fix it, everyone is healthy, and their job is sunshine and roses.  At least that's what they want you to think.
  But the truth?  Life is ugly.  People sin.  They act in ways they don't want to and they make stupid mistakes.  People are judgmental and rude.  Things don't work out the way we want them to.  You can make the grandest of plans, but God has another plan and it just might not fit in your little box.
  I recently read Choosing to SEE: A Journey of Struggle and Hope by Mary Beth Chapman, and it is an amazing book.  This book goes into detail about Mary Beth's own journey through life's struggles.  She talks about how those smaller struggles led up to the biggest struggle of her life; the death of her five year old daughter.  She is very clear in the book that God has a plan in the mess.  It might be a huge mess, but God has a plan in that huge mess.
   I think it's high time that Christians start being real.  Real about the truth of life. God sent His Son Jesus to die for us.  Because of that, we can have everlasting life when we accept Him as our Savior.  And God has a plan for each of us and orders our step according to His purpose.  But the truth?  Those steps aren't always wonderful, they aren't always rainbows and sunshine.  However, there are times that you see God's purpose in a trial and you come through a situation where you can see where God had you headed.  Bottom line, in the end God's plan is perfect, even if the details are messy and terrible.  And that's the truth.

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