NOT My Child Monday

Welcome to NOT My Child Monday. This was born out of a blog carnival created by MckMama, called Not Me Monday. It’s where you can pretend you didn’t do things like neglect to brush your child’s teeth or sit around all day in your husband’s ratty old T-Shirt. Today, we are changing it a little bit to Not My Child Monday, and we can pretend that our children are perfect. They never pitch fits in the grocery store and absolutely eat all of their vegetables. So read on, to find out just how perfect my child is.

My son did NOT recently refill the half empty soap dispenser with water in the bathroom he regularly uses. He is not wasteful like that, nope not my son.

My son did NOT scream his head off for Me while he was home alone with Daddy. He did NOT have an accident in his bed and rather than letting Daddy change him, choose to throw a fit. He did NOT require a phone call from Me to calm him down. Nope, not my son, he is a mature 4 and realizes his father takes just fine care of him.

My child did NOT recently take advantage of my being sick. He did NOT wake up before me and notice that I was out cold. He did NOT then remove items from my nightstand and relocate them to unknown places. Nope, not my son. He always wakes me up when he rises before me.

My son did NOT have attention issues in Vacation Bible School last week. He did NOT get up and jump all over the room during transition times. The teacher did NOT have to take him outside to speak to him, only to return to the classroom and have my son begin to jump all over the place upon his immediate return. His teacher did NOT have to take him outside yet again to calm him down. Nope, not my son. He is a well behaved pupil who is always seated with his hands folded in his lap.

My child does NOT have nap taking issues as of late. He does not get put down for a nap only to not sleep. He absolutely does NOT strip his bed and empty his toy containers. He does NOT do this most often when I choose to take a rest while he is napping. Nope, not my child. He always lays right down and goes to sleep on schedule.

My child has NOT recently surprised us by his uncanny ability to read. He did NOT learn these things by simply watching a few Leap Frog videos. He is NOT a virtual sponge. He is NOT so advanced for his age that we are exploring the possibility of early entry into Kindergarten. Nope, not my son, he doesn’t show signs of being highly advanced for his age leaving his parents baffled as to how he will remain challenged in these early years.

There you have it, now you know all of the things my perfect son does not do. :)

Head on over to MckMama's blog to see the links to all the other Mommies who are talking about their perfect children.