In the Blink of An Eye

My Dear Sweet Boy Austin,

Tomorrow you are going to come home. You've been in Jacksonville with Grandma and Grandpa for a few days and I've missed you so. I've missed your sweet hugs and kisses and even when you've tormented the dog just a little too much for the day. I miss parenting you (even when you don't make good choices), and spraying you down with the hose in the back yard on these hot days. When you get home tomorrow (thanks to Grams and Mr. Oscar) I can promise you that I will shower you with lots of hugs and kisses.

While you've been gone I cleaned out your room. You have far more toys than I could ever dreamed of having when I was a kid. Too many in fact. It's a lot easier to get rid of things when you aren't around. :) You'll understand one day when you have your own kids. When I told you that I was going to do this, you told me to give your trains away to the children who don't have toys. You told me that you are too old for Thomas, Percy, Diesel 10 and Annie and Clarabel. No longer were you going to fly Harold to the rescue or set up your track to run your trains on. Part of me was glad to get rid of some of the clutter, but the other part of me felt a little sad. Where did my little boy go? He has been replaced by the boy who pretends to be Indiana Jones with an imaginary whip chasing away all the bad guys, who is Bumblebee defeating the Decepticons, or who is Luke Skywalker defeating Darth Vader. My little boy is becoming a big boy. It really feels like yesterday that I was mashing up bananas in rice cereal for your breakfast and nursing you at 3AM. It feels like it was just a few minutes ago that I was up with you all night because you were teething. Wasn't it just recently I had to pack your diaper bag? Now we usually don't have to worry about taking a change of clothes when we're out and about. I feel like I blinked my eyes and all of a sudden before me stands a big boy.

You've started reading. How did that happen? How did I have such a smart child? People think that because your mommy is a teacher I must have taught you how to read. I disagree. You my son are one of the smartest little people I know. You only have to have a word read to you once or twice and you know it. Do you remember when you were about 18 months old and we were on the way to daycare and all of a sudden you were singing the ABC's... perfectly? I almost ran off the road. In your sweet words you told me that you learned it from your teacher at school. You really surprise me sometimes.

Now you are going to start Kindergarten in just about 5 weeks. I can't believe it. One huge perk to teaching is that I get to take you with me to school. Mommy worked really hard to get a teaching job at our neighborhood school and the Lord allowed it to happen. Not many working moms can look out their windows and see their child's classroom. There are some things you need to know about the first day of school. I will make sure you have everything you need; your backpack, your supplies, your clothes washed and neat, and your lunch packed. Then I will drop you off in your classroom. Mommy is going to cry. Not because I'm sad. I will be crying because I am proud. I am so proud that in your five years you have become the boy that you have. I will give you a kiss while you're still young enough to let me. Then I will go. We already have our special finger wave picked out in case we see each other in the hall. After school is over I will pick you up. Then you can tell me all about your day.

Oh my sweet boy... as your daddy and I parent you to become a responsible young man we are proud of the boy we see. But I can't help to wonder why it all must go by so fast. Just as quickly as we've gotten to kindergarten, we are going to get to Middle School and then High School. Before I know it, I'll be the mom in the dorm parking lot with a box of kleenex. But as time goes and I have to let you go little by little, know that I love you. You often ask me if I'll love you no matter what... and I will, always. No matter what. I am so thankful that God gave you to me to mother. I am so blessed to have a sweet, caring, adventurous, energetic, smart, and fun kid to call my own. I love you to the moon and back my sweet boy... even if you are becoming a man in the blink of my eye.

Love,

Mommy